his episode of the Wedding City Podcast features a conversation with a guest who shares deep, often unconventional, perspectives on African wedding superstitions, the nature of relationships, and the difference between the wedding event and the marriage itself.
Here is a summary of the key discussion points:
Debunking Superstitions
The host and guest discuss various superstitions, particularly those surrounding wedding day events.
- “Lights Out” Omen: When asked if a power outage on the wedding day is a bad omen, the guest completely dismisses the idea [08:08]. He argues that a good marriage will face far more critical “lights out” situations than a mere power cut [08:26]. He uses an analogy, noting that worship existed before electricity, meaning technology/logistics should not determine a couple’s outlook [08:52].
- The Power of Man vs. God: The guest states he does not believe any external sign—like a pastor saying “this is not your wife” or an accident involving the cake—can stop a marriage that is meant to be [09:47]. He emphasizes the critical need to separate the wedding (the event) from the marriage (the covenant/reality) [10:15].
- Controlling Belief: He critiques the enforceability of superstition, arguing that you must be able to question things, and that God’s word should be the guide, not a person or event [12:07].
Relationship and Marriage Philosophy
The guest, who is celebrating 18 years of marriage [02:47], shares his unique approach to finding a spouse.
- Organic Connection: He mentions that he has never “asked a woman out” [04:41]. Instead, he believes in an organic process where life events bring people together, allowing a relationship to grow naturally without being “programmed and abrupt” [06:33]. He identifies as sapiosexual, attracted to intelligence and sensibilities [05:20].
- Traditional Wedding: He expresses a strong preference for the traditional wedding, viewing it as the only form of wedding that should be acknowledged, as it is derived from one’s culture [07:32].
- Gender Dynamics: He shares a story from his time as a wedding photographer, noting that the woman is typically the most emotionally affected by issues on the wedding day, as it is “her day” [13:04]. He contrasts this with the man’s tendency to think more “logically” and the woman’s to be more “emotion-driven” [15:46].
- Love as Sacrifice: The most profound insight shared is the guest’s definition of love. He posits that marriage is not a “romantic thing,” but rather “pain, sacrifice, blood, fear, trial, tribulation, and challenge” [22:29]. He concludes that true love is not an emotion, but an unconditional state—like the father’s love in the parable of the Prodigal Son [24:16].
Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC2_Vyypn6Y Channel: Wedding City Podcast
